Procrastination

So I've been having a bit of a hard time recently, my exams are close, I have 3 essays to write in 10 days, procrastination is a funny thing (something I happen to be an expert at) one thinks of all sorts of rubbish while trying to run away from legal theory. My latest brainstorming session has resulted in an amazing epiphany, one that I should have come up with earlier, seeing as I'm so frustrated and how my hate for the world at large shines with such virulent grandeur there is only really one thing to do! I'm going to bash a few heads in, I'm going to imagine that my opponent is the embodiment of all that's wrong with the world and I'm going to inflict a couple of brain injuries, Boxing society here I come! 0_0! 

I know this sounds naive, it's not like I have no experience whatsoever, I did 2 years of Kyokushin Karate when I was a teen, full contact gloves off Kyokushin in Peshawar city, it was extremely brutal our sensei used to hit us sadistically to increase our tolerance for pain, we would break lots of shit, I still fondly remember the day that I graduated from hitting a cement filled punching bag to just hitting a tree, he used to run over us on his motorbike too (we would all lie down in a line with rock hard stomachs) when I think back to the form I was in back then I can hardly believe where I am now. My poor 6 pack has since drowned if it had a voice it would be singing that godawful Rahim Shah song ze pakey dubegama! mala lambo na razi!

I started smoking, got lazy, got speedy internet, had to study more, it's not like I lost interest I just got out of form and couldn't push myself to that level anymore so I quit. That was 5 odd years ago, I'm still a heavy smoker and I'm lazy as hell, I figure I could try giving up smoking again, this time I'll have a good reason to do so. I'm not making any promises though. I do love my nicotene, she's always been there for me when I needed her.  I'll see where this goes, maybe this is just one of these stupid inklings that will disappear after I get back to my senses. 

A Bit of Cynicism followed by Photos - that will make you forget all about it.

An old friend of mine seems to have randomly turned into an expert photographer, I saw this picture the other day and my jaw dropped, reminds me of the time I went on an IDP safari (I'm aware that I may have coined this term) with my cousin who was so obsessed with taking winning shots that he would rejoice when a particular shot was noticeably inspiring of sympathy he went as far as to twist the life stories of the children that were interviewed to be sadder than they really were, "Oh so three of your brothers were killed? Let's make it 5 shall we" it was quite distasteful but I was indebted to him for helping with my own photos a few days earlier (Don't judge me, I already live with the guilt). Sensational journalism is an evil thing. 

On the other hand the reason I think the photos I'm about to post are so good is that they reflect the real fortitude of people living in poverty, the ability to smile more sincerely than any of us, to live in the moment, and to make the most of being alive. (Pashtun spirit in a nutshell).

Of course maybe I'm overstepping my boundaries, that's the thing about speaking from behind a lens, it sounds so anthropological. Like most useless fields of study the analysis one makes is often a better reflection of the observer than the observed, the observer projects their own insecurities onto their subject. Part of me feels guilty for feeling the way I do about photos like these. What right does somebody like me have to share in the happiness of these people? I may as well be from another dimension. To the camera they'll always be subjects and nothing more. This is the part where you're supposed to ignore my stupid rambling and look at the pictures (click to enlarge). 

                  Hats off to Hoor! And to the smiles she's captured. 

Hence it comes about that all armed Prophets have been victorious, and all unarmed Prophets have been destroyed.

Machiavelli how I wish that that those were empty words! Recently, I did the unthinkable, something no self respecting man should ever indulge in, something that I now regret profusely. That's right I launched a campaign to be elected president of our debating society, in doing so I entered the world of politics, and left shortly afterwards, with more than just a slap on the face. If I were to describe my face right now I'd say it's dripping with the sort of venomous acidic saliva that can only be produced by the female gender. (Forgive the sexism but...hell hath no fury).


So I began telling everybody I knew to vote online, I made it quite clear in my manifesto that I would be appealing to a wider audience, those who were not seasoned debaters like me, but the sort of people who are on the fringes of our society, those who haven't yet had a taste of the limelight. My opponent who was already on the committee (in a lower position) saw this and 5 minutes before the polls were scheduled to open, there was reportedly a malfunction with the online poll (which meant it never opened) and it was replaced with her conveniently prepared paper ballot, towards which she marched with an army of friends.


Hell, I'm used to dirty politics back home, even though my supporters told me to protest, I decided I was ready to accept  that I had been outsmarted by a snake. Yep that's right I kept quiet.


The following day, the new committee were looking for volunteers for an uncontested position, NOTE - NOBODY ELSE WANTED THIS POSITION. I went in as the only volunteer, I was asked to explain why I would be a good candidate (besides the point that almost made president -_-), I left the room and came back after 10 minutes. "We have decided that you are incapable of handling the position in question, in light of this decision you are free to leave the room" *Door Slams*.


Excuse me? I've spent 2 years debating for this university, I've devoted my life to this society for 2 years and you're going to sit there with a godawful smirk on your face and tell me I'm incapable of managing a low level position because I ran against you for president? I hope you die a painful death, I hope you writhe in pain till your insides explode you awful little wench.


So nobody is going to get this position now because - there are I quote "no suitable candidates". Suitable my hairy ass the same ass that has spoken at events all over the country.


Honestly, I didn't think people could sink this low. Oh surprisingly all of her other committee members are girls too (with the exception of 1 guy) and they're all her little stinking cronies. Positive discrimination any-FUCK-ing body.

On This Grey Wednesday

So I'm pulling another all-nighter, after handing in the worst tort assignment in the history of the obsessive blame game we call negligence I'm expected to be able to prepare for a business French test?  Vous avez tort! Ce n'est pas digne d'un être humain.


I'm not actually sure if it is indeed Grey outside either, it could turn out to be the sunniest Wednesday on the planet. Since I've been up all night I will likely sleep through any sunshine that manages to seep through the netting of the Burqa clad sky. (Poetic I know), I suppose it all depends on whether you're an optimist or a defeatist cynic like me.


I always treat myself to scrambled eggs on campus every Wednesday, probably the only day of the week that I actually eat anything for breakfast. Every morning I climb mount Olympus to get to campus, I kid you not the gradient is insane, the other day a girl was run over by a car while climbing the same mountain, with the result that I pass by her funeral bouquets twice every day, may she rest in peace whoever she was, I've always thought about stopping to pray for her but it is difficult to do something so conspicuous when submerged in a sea of judgmental students, not to mention how pissed off people would be if I stopped in the middle of the footpath, that's right my not stopping has nothing to do with the stares I imagine I would attract.


Notably her death became the subject of a class on negligent driving, her memory... forever embedded in our lecture recordings. I wonder if her estate will ever be able to claim anything from the motor insurance bureau.


I should mention that I don't know who Joseph Kony is! (Don't bother telling me I'm just one of those people  destined never to know) I think it's wonderful when people rally together for a cause they believe in, only causes that have to be explained by a 5 year old pointing to the picture of a "Baddie" make me want to ignore them completely. Joseph Kony ... Nope doesn't ring any bells.


The world after I graduate is just a big blur at the moment, applying to firms is a harrowing process, I barely have the time to organise my own thoughts nowadays let alone read anything that isn't a case-file. I hate this feeling of uncertainty, I hate the people around me, I hate the world at large and I hate having to come up with inventive bullshit for every vacation scheme application. I hate the way you get rejection letters written by HR wankers wishing you the best in your career. Thank you for wasting a day of your life filling in a never-ending application form now please proceed to fuck off.


Screw it I say, I just want to give this test and get back to FF6. Oh sweet Terra, sweet escapism!


A Cheesy cover of Mawaru Penguindrum's third ED. Indulge yourselves.