So the US Defence Department has unveiled its newest secret weapon, one that it has very graciously, already tested on the Afghan populous before the wider world ever knew of its existence, the invisible beam that is fired from what appears to be a radar emitter of some sort penetrates the skin about 1/2 a millimeter and is said to be painful but harmless, a Godsend for riot control! No more rubber bullets.
General McChrystal seems to have sent the weapon back citing that the Taliban might use the idea of innocent civilians being microwaved to their advantage. I suppose what they gathered from this trial run on the civilians of a third world country is that the weapon needs some sort of publicity boost in order to sell.
In comes the press, go Google it you can see a bunch of giddy reporters standing on little Xs being zapped one by one, laughing slightly and then running away, I must say it is quite surreal. There is no way to tell whether they're faking it or whether the weapon itself is some sort of scare tactic. Conspiracy theories aside I'm really not sure what they hope to accomplish. 120 million dollars down the drain so far (even with all the press attention there are no buyers) This shouldn't be a problem because several puppet governments being given aid can perhaps one day be forced to purchase the device, maybe we'll see the Israelis using it in Gaza I really don't know. There just seems to be an air of a belated April Fools joke about it.
"Hey world, we've spent lots of money on a ray gun isn't it awesome? Watch me fry these reporters! I bet y'all want one now dont'ya!?"
Maybe one day it will be miniaturized into the sort of thing new generations will use as a substitute water pistol, I bet the Chinese are already working on the copy. In the words of Borat "Great Success" we're one step closer to the post apocalyptic world every science fiction buff secretly wants to live in.
Wait It's all become clear to me now! Back in 2010, the reason General McChrystal was relieved of his duty is because he didn't like Obama's new Ray gun.
Obama: "If you won't use my pimp gun, I'll make Patraeus do it".
No comments:
Post a Comment