I swore the first post on this blog wouldn't be a bloody recollection of events..

But..Fate is in the habit of conspiring against me. Here I am, alone in my hotel room, in Scotland of all places. I haven't been here since I was a toddler fighting with my cousin over whose action figures were more powerful, I will admit it is a very hazy memory indeed but I'm sure it took place in Edinburgh, we put coins into one of those machines that give you bouncy balls and other cheap Chinese artifacts. I had a miniature set of bowling pins while he had a whistle, I was quite jealous of the whistle but I managed to convince him my bowling pins were better as there were more of them. Unfortunately none of these things actually relate to the city of Edinburgh itself but at that age who really gave a shit about the rustic buildings that I am now so taken by, I swear getting out of the train station was like emerging into the middle ages (and having my name changed to Altair), I automatically and most probably rightly assumed that this was the result of Hitler not having bombed Scotland to kingdom come, this point of view was affirmed by my taxi driver who in response to my amazement declared with a grin on his face "Adoulf Hitlerr liked us Scots it is an insulting thought at first but the results speak for themselves".

Right so I'm in my hotel room, well more like a fancy B&B but the owners are wonderful, the rooms are spotless and most importantly the breakfasts are hearty who could ask for anything more? I've been making do on toast and pot noodles as travelling up to Edinburgh is by itself not an expense I was expecting to cover, there's something satisfying about spreading sandwich spread on toast alone in a hotel room, it's like you're a hunter gatherer, the alpha male returning to his roots walking all the way to the Asian corner shop in the rain, procuring a bag of nourishment, being taken aback by the Scottish 10 pound note he receives as change, wondering if he has been given what essentially looks like monopoly money, that's right the alpha male knows always to suspect his own kind. 

The Chronology of this post fails, but as I was coming here on the train I was in the quiet coach surrounded by quiet old people, I usually like my peace and quiet but I wanted them to speak, I've been having these surreal dreams lately full of strange little people who can read minds and sword fights with the Queen, but yes I wished they would strike up a conversation, if not with me, with themselves at least! 

Today was the day though eh! The day I gave the JLPT N4 exam, it was both easier and more difficult than I expected I won't bore you with the details but it went pretty well, I met somebody else who had come up all the way from England because the centre in London was full, this has had an amazing effect on me, suddenly I wasn't the only dickhead who had bothered coming this far North to give an exam in a language written using squiggles that make your head spin instead of our wonderful phonetic alphabet, I think he felt the same way to be honest. 

Speaking of surreal dreams I have to prepare a presentation for my Surrealism seminar tomorrow on some sort of silly film by Bunuel, note I did not take this module by choice I am actually a law student with french as a second major, and this years cultural french module is - tada - Surrealism, at this rate I should go there with a blank power-point and give them a taste of what they all love so much, stand there pointing at a blank screen, opening my mouth but making no sound! They can write an essay on it afterwards detailing how they were so absorbed by the depth of my subconscious it made them all piss on themselves to increase their appeal to the opposite sex, like the bull I was watching on bbc4 while eating dinner last night, he pissed on himself to augment his sexuality and ended up attracting a sizable harem (at which point I spat my food out), if only it were that easy.

I just had a hot shower, a really really hot shower to somehow get me in the mindset I need to be in, in order to get myself through this movie that I know will make no sense whatsoever. It's 2:31 am at least I can look forward to another one of those hearty breakfasts before I embark on the 6hr train journey home, well I say home but I don't actually mean home I mean my home away from home! All is not lost for in 10 days time yes that's right - en dix jours je parte en vacances, chez moi!  Thank you Christ for duping the world into thinking you were born on the 25th of December. 

Well that was cathartic, and incredibly lame at the same time..this first post doesn't bode well at all for this blog, I sense a shitty future awaits, one that will in no way live up to the art of Yoshitaka Amano that adorns this blog.